Expectations
A few years ago my friend, Tina, and I leased an office at the busiest intersection in town. As our office was on the 2ndfloor and on the corner, we had 180°views of downtown. Because of the building’s impressive height, we felt like we were in the eagle’s nest, where we could savor the surrounding mountain vistas, watch with delight the tourist strolling around our local shops and unfortunately, and experience the trauma of a multitude of traffic incidents. Too many traffic incidents.
During our first week in our new office space, we witnessed our first accident. It was mid-morning and an elderly couple whom were crossing the street in the cross walk were both hit by a car. We hear the screech, looked down from our aerie and lying in the cross walk was a still body, not unlike those images that you see of the outline of a body in chalk that kids trace on the sidewalk. After what seemed like eternity, the ambulance arrived and slowly transported the injured person to the hospital.
This was the first of many incidents that we witnessed of pedestrians being hit by automobiles, not to mention all of the near misses that took place. Both Tina & I were deeply disturbed, asking each other ‘what can we do to stop this?’. I participated in the city’s downtown planning/safe streets meetings that took place over a span of months. We spoke to our city council members and begged them to do something, anything, to make our downtown a safer place for pedestrians. I was becoming very emotionally invested in what I considered to be a very important and humanitarian cause.
Then one day, I paused.
Like an eagle places itself far above the landscape so that it can see things clearly from a distance, I stepped back from my obsession and asked myself, ‘Why do you care so deeply about this? Where is this coming from?’
Upon deep reflection, I realized that my deep desire is for a world in which people are kind, considerate and compassionate with each other. Where we aren’t in such a hurry to get from point A to point B that stopping for someone in the cross walk is out of the question. Where we aren’t so busy multi-tasking that we have to be on our phones as we drive. Where we can wait at the stoplight a little bit longer as the elderly couple crosses the street, even though the light has turned green, and admire that this couple can still get out to enjoy breakfast at their favorite diner. These are my expectations for a society in which I was not living in.
Once I realized that my expectation for this utopic society that does not exist was the root cause of my suffering, I could finally address the real issue at hand. Not that pedestrian safety is no longer important, but my expectations of how others behave was the attachment to which I needed to let go.
Expectations and attachments cause much of our suffering as humans. So, on this week before the elections, I challenge you to reflect upon your own expectations and attachments. How will you allow yourself to move forward in a healthy manner if the outcome isn’t the result that you prefer? Are there other areas of your life in which you have expectations and/or attachments that are causing you pain? Take the eagle’s point of view: step out of your emotions, change your vantage point and look at the bigger picture. Analyze the root of your desires. Release yourself of the situations that are beyond your control. Free yourself of expectations. Your body, mind and spirit will reap the rewards of your work.