Inspiration from Marie-Antoinette…Let them eat cake!

It was just birthday weekend in my household. As my boys’ birthdays are 2 years & 1 day apart, we find ourselves with multiple opportunities to enjoy feasting on cake. Actually, that should be plural – cakes. So much cake! And it’s not uncommon for them to have cake for breakfast – heck, why not? When the cake is gone, a whole year must pass before this indulgence takes place again. And because cake for breakfast is such a rarity, the pleasure & joy obtained is such a treat.

Yet, how many of us can allow ourselves to have a what-is-perceived-to-be-naughty experience without attaching guilt? Keeping with our example, instead of enjoying each bite of savory cake, the thoughts running through the head sound more like “I shouldn’t be having this”, “I’m such an awful person & have no self control”, “This is going to make me so fat” or whatever the default script is that plays in your mind. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most people have their ‘thing(s)’ that they feel guilt & shame during the experience vs. just allowing it to be. The cycle of  - I shouldn’t do it, I just did it, I can’t believe I did it, I’m such a bad person – repeats over & over. 

If this sounds familiar, please take the time explore the phases of this cycle next time you find yourself at “I shouldn’t do ‘it’ ” stage and see if you can change the narrative.  Or, after you’ve already done ‘it’, try out a new reaction, something along the lines of, “Ireally enjoyed ‘it’ but won’t be doing ‘it’ anytime soon” or “ ’It’ is not serving me so I need to remember that next time ‘it’ presents itself to me”. 

Guilt & shame are definitely not serving anyone’s highest good and are were often established during childhood as a result of numerous experiences. By taking the time to recognize when the guilt and/or shame feelings come up, explore where they came from, and consciously make the decision to maintain or purge your behavior, you will begin taking control over the ‘its’ in your life. 

Do yourself a favor – get out the broom, do some mental spring-cleaning & sweep those old patterns into the dust bin. And then enjoy a piece of cake.